Perspective

I'd been waiting for a while today to go running. For the last month, I just felt like I needed to escape for a while, and the perfect way to do that is to lace up my running shoes and fly over to this beautiful little trail a few minutes jog from my house. And of course, once I'm there, I would ignore the neatly paved path that ran through the forest, and hike down the sides into these pretty little glades and surround myself with beauty. I've explored quite a few of these openings, and every time I go, with the trees whispering to me, the birds flying around me, the sun peeking through the clouds above me - it's magical. Never fails to calm me down.

So I sat around my house for hours today, waiting for the temperature to go down enough for me to be able to run without suffocating. After maybe 3 hours, it was still high 80s. Finally, after restlessly reading to give myself patience, the thermometer read 84 - well, good enough.

Unfortunately, my plan came to nothing when my mom denied my request to go to the trail. It was too dark, she said. It wasn't. I wanted to stomp my feet and just refuse to go out then, but I knew if I didn't run today, I wouldn't get another opportunity for a long time.

So I swallowed my anger (literally) and settled myself to a jog around the neighborhood. Which is only slightly better than running indoors. All the houses. The people. The noise. The lack of trees. The lack of nature. The lack of beauty. I wasn't running for exercise. I was running to lose myself in the exhilaration of being outside and remembering again why everything is worth it. And I wasn't feeling it.

Strolling down the sidewalks, passing these boring, brick houses lined up, the humid summer heat enveloping me, the air was stagnant. When suddenly, I felt a buzzing by my ear, and being terrified of bugs, I vehemently shook my head and took off to escape from it. And hey, what do you know, I was running.

My feet flew over the solid pavement, and it was just so... so easy. So relaxed, so natural, so right. My breath settled in with my pace, and I gained ground, slowly but easily. I'm not a runner. I can't run fast or long, but that's alright, because I don't run to get anywhere. I just run to run.

Usually I hate sweating. You'd think I'd be used to it by now, since I can sweat just from sitting down. But today, as the droplets dripped down my face, I felt even more alive. The humid air felt like the world was hugging me closer, holding me tightly in its rain-cloud hands. Sweat trickled down to my eyes, but I didn't bother to wipe it away. My nose, cheeks, chin, they could all feel the embrace of the world today.

And then I caught sight of something that made my heart race even more than the blurring world. I hadn't run through a sprinkler since I was small, but this time, I wouldn't shy away from the water. Arms thrown back, I laughed widely as my legs pumped me through the rainbow of water. Every drop tickled me as they sprayed onto my already glittering skin. And I laughed all the more, because this is what it means to be alive. This is what it means to enjoy the world in all its beauty, because it is worth it. There are things you can't experience, locked up at home sitting in front of the computer or reading a book. Everything sounds nice when you hear it, but it's so much nicer to feel it. Don't hesitate to go out and feel the world. It's waiting for you, enjoy it while you can.

After that, the world came rushing back to me - and not what all the books say are reality, but the real reality. Even though my glasses were dotted with droplets and smearing what was ahead; even though the sky was darkening and things were harder to make out; even though it was hard to see clearly from blinking away the sprinkler-rain hanging onto my eyes, the world was so much clearer. I had no trees, but I had a sky. Large, white clouds, and a staggering sunset splashing the world with purples and pinks and all wordless expressions. You don't need to be surrounded by a forest to feel the beauty of nature. It's always surrounding you, even if it's harder to lose yourself in it when it's not displayed right in front of you.

Maybe it's about perspective, you know? I didn't think I could find the beauty in what was in front of me because it wasn't what I knew as beauty. But when I was nudged forward by a little buzzing in my ear, I found out that anything can be magical, as long as you can open your eyes and let it in. And when my sight was smudged with magnifying droplets and the sky grew slowly into night, I was able to run through the miracle with my whole self rather than just my eyes. It was like running towards the light and seeing something much more amazing. It's a beautiful world, you just have to discover it for yourself.

Leap of Faith

Life is full of stars. Life is full of dreams

And along with those stars and dreams, life is also full of giant, gaping abysses that completely block your path.

And then you have a choice: to leap over them, or to stay where you are.

It's hard, you know? When you're stuck at one end and all you can see ahead of you is deep, deep, deep darkness, full of sharp protrusions and haunting misgivings. But there's always that whisper coming from the other side, promising a shining path, a laughing path, a path full of happiness. And all you have to do is close your eyes and leap across that abyss and all of it is yours.

It's never an easy choice.

And then you're kind of pacing your side of life, debating whether it's worth it or not. It's not like you're dissatisfied with what you have now. You're content. And what if you fall? What if you decide to leap, but then realize you can't make it? You'll spend the rest of your life climbing out of that abyss, and even at the end, you'll never really make it to the other side.

But on the other hand, what if you do make it? What if you take that chance, fly over the darkness with a heart full of courage and hope, and land safely through the misty veil and enter that new realm? There are no guarantees that what's actually there is happiness. But what if there is? Can you give up that chance?

Life is meant to be lived with no regrets. It's never easy taking that leap of faith, throwing everything aside for the whispers from your heart. But if you think there's a chance for happiness, go for it. Maybe you'll regret it later. Or maybe you'll be showered with light and smiles. You'll never know until you try.

So close your eyes and get lost in the stars, block out all worries and live your dreams. Don't see the abyss as failure - see it as a test for how much you want that happiness. Who knows? Maybe if you jump, there'll be someone waiting on the other end to catch you. Maybe they've been waiting for you all along, and maybe - just maybe, you've been waiting for them too.

A Dream

a

                pause

a

                                breath

a

                glance

a

                                smile

a

                moment enough for two hearts to meet

a

                tentative leap across an invisible barrier

a

                touch

a

                                curl

a

                twine

a

                                grip

a

                th-thump

a

                                ba-dump

a

                ba-dump

a

                                th-thump

a

                gentle kick and playful pressure

a

                warm strong shoulder and then a turn

a

                gray

a

                                blue

a

                green

a

                                world

a

                look at you and I’m captured, i’m lost

a

                deepening ache that will never fade

a

                whisper

a             

                                will

a

                want

a

                                wish

a

                promise

a

                                promise

a

                promise

a

                                forever

The Song of Spring

Possibly the only positive to having to wake up before the sun rises each morning is that moment when you peek your head out the door and walk into a completely new world. The air is crisp and clear, and the sky has a tint of red-yellow-orange-pink-blue-purple to it. All around you is silence, like the world is asleep, but you, you are awake to witness this miracle. And when you lift your head slightly and breathe, breathe, breathe it all in, it's like the world is lifting you up and out of your slumber into its arms.

So each morning, those 5 minute walks to my bus stop is what gives me the energy to get through the school day. But this morning, as I sauntered down the street, taking care to breathe deeply, I noticed something even more magical than the sunrise or the minty air. There was birdsong.

The birds had come back! Everywhere, the sky was filled with the high trills of different birds, some warbling, some chirping, and some squawking. But together, as they all sang to their own rhythms and pitches, it was like the entire world was awake, and not just me. I realized, that although I had come to appreciate the quiet of my solitary morning walks, this song buoying me down the street was also something precious. Because I was no longer alone.

It was great to be able to walk to the nature's song. The birds - they just sounded so happy to be flying around and singing to each other that instead of just whistling as I would normally do, I couldn't help but sing myself. So this morning, as I made my usual way down the line of slumbering houses, I sang along with the rest of the world, raising the veil of sleep and winter from the land. The birds had returned, and with them, the song of spring.

A sunrise full of magic, spreading across the slumbering world

So How Does One Dream of Stars?

Welcome to my little corner in space! :) It's pretty free here, without the constant noise of the world or the heavy burden of gravity pulling you down. Here, it's just you, the stars, and your dreams.

It's a rather quiet corner, a place to explore what's beyond reality. It's a place to escape the tangible and surround yourself with the abstract. Not too bad, huh?

Do you see those millions of stars around you? That huge one right ahead of you, pulsating with a steady glow, or the tiny one far off in the corner of your vision, wavering with light? And then there's that cluster above you, almost forming some sort of halo, and the sturdy ones below, read to catch you just in case you slip and fall? Do you see them all?

Those stars, they're your dreams. That's right, each and every one of those holds something precious, whether a nostalgic memory, an unforgettable instance, or a place you've not yet reached. "Each and every one of them? But there are so many!" you exclaim. And there is so much to you, so much within your frail human body, that the world alone can't contain them. So the stars gave you this. Your own little corner in space.

Except, this is my little corner in space. The stars you see around you? Yep, they're my dreams. But they haven't been realized yet, so all you see are millions of candle flames, flickering around what lies within. Here, I'm going to share my dreams, my stars. It'll be a place to chronicle the little dreams that I discover each day, and connect the dots of light that will become my path of stars. So come with me and delve beyond reality for a moment. Forget about the noise of the world, the heavy burden of gravity, and just let yourself float among the stars. Here, it's just you, the stars, and your dreams.